I wrote a really long, really good post about remembrance, but it got a little too specific. It was much easier to write when no one read this… Still it’ll be taped into my journal, and that’s the real point of this anyway. Here’s my now infamous ambiguous version. The original was much better. Oh, and the very last sentence was borrowed from Shakespeare.
It’s been a bad day on top of a bad day. I can’t tell you quite why. I guess I could; I want to. Something holds me back though. I’m a hypocrite if I do and a hypocrite if I don’t.
I could really use a hug.
One day I am going to write all these moments down, because I want to hold on so bad. But memories must be held like sand, because if you squeeze too hard it’ll all fall into oblivion. Better the slow draining. The peace of the sand falling back to where it belongs.
I keep going back though. It’s inevitable, the past can be so beautiful. The eyes, the faces, the touches, that hug, the kiss on the cheek you gave me when I was sad. All of that. They swirl around in my memory and won’t let me go. They are who I am, truly and completely. And damn, I am proud of that. Those are such beautiful memories. I want to hold on forever, but the sand keeps blowing away.
Staring at the sky,
I caught a raindrop in my hand,
It traveled coldly through my fingertips,
and dropped to the ground
Blessed be the memories that fall from the sky. The sun itself sees not till heaven clears.
