Well as always, there’s some good and some bad in life.

The before-mentioned problem is still an issue. However, now there seems to be a reason for it. At least there’s some semblence of understanding. It’s not exactly the light at the end of the tunnel, but there is hope and I can go on with that alone.

I believe hope may be the most powerful emotion, perhaps even more powerful than love in its own way. Hope will keep you going in the deepest darkness in your life. As long as you believe there is a chance to improve your life, you’ll be allright.

I’ve been trying to care slightly more on a day to day basis and Chirstmas break has rejuvenated me a bit. I had pretty much stopped caring about so much because I go numb when I’m in pain. High School will do that to you. But I find myself interested in knowledge again and myself questioning instead of excepting. It’s good to be counted as a thinking human being again. I hate it when I stop caring about everything that once interested me and become absorbed by the monotony of day to day activities. I hope that that never happens to me again but I seriously doubt it. I guess that’s just part of the screwed up world in which we live.

I guess for New Years I hope that my hopes were justified. Life can always improve, and I have to believe that.

Well today I’ve been trying to improve a song I wrote this summer, and utterly failing. Writing is petty much not going well at all lately. My mind is in too many other boring aspects of life to concentrate long enough to write something half-decent. Otherwise life’s looking better. The before-mentioned problem is improving so hopefully my mind will be clear soon. Anyway you can find my lyrics here, and an mp3 here.

When your head is stuck in a problem the only thing that seems to matter is solving it.

What can you do when the real person to blame, is in the end, yourself? You can change your actions pretty easily, and you can change oher people’s opinions. But what can you do about your own thoughts? I don’t know at all, so I’m afraid this is all I can write tonoght because this is all I’m thinking about.

on the screwed-upness of society…

I think everyone comes to the point in high school where they either give up or fight till the end.

I guess that is a tad overdramatic, but nevertheless, it seems true. I don’t mean become a drug-addict or a honor-role student; I’m thinking more along the lines of personal philosophy. Generally there are two obvious, black-and-white examples of what I’m trying to explain. A person either accepts the world for what it is and moves on, or fights to make it better. Some people, actually most people, never realize that they have indeed made a decision on this matter. Most people accept the world. Yes, people rant on about their petty politics, and send money to their charities, but generally there isn’t much concern on the matter. People need to question and then, and only then do.

Why is the world like this? It’s really quite obvious. Humans run from pain, always have and always will. To truly believe that the world is inherently screwed up is not a pleasant experience. We would all rather believe that it’s truly being improved, and we’re getting better. We are in some ways. However in the understanding of oneself we are constantly moving backword. People give up because they just want to find peace with themselves. In the end though, peace can only be found by knowing oneself. If you can describe your life as get up, go to school, do homework, and sleep then you’ve given up. You’ve sacrificed your brilliant intellect to fit in our screwed up society. You’ve got to fight for something if you want to stand for anything.

Hello world!

Well I guess I finally started a blog…we’ll see how far this gets till I give up…

Anyways, as this is my blog I’m sure you will find most of it unstable, unrelated, unintelligent, and just generally inexplicable and surreal. Well, that pretty much sums up my life, so there you go.

I guess I want to use this as a way to shout about politics, religion, school, books, and generally the meaning of life the universe and, well, anything else. I’m moving my arguments from the deep, dark depths of the High School Cafeteria to the internet. I guess this way more people can congratulate my supreme intellect. I, a 14 year old guy sitting behind this four year old computer have a lot to say about the world and I plan to write it. I hope any shred of wisdom I may gain will enlighten you as well.

You still sitting there? Good. It’s going to be an interesting ride….